Just as our life and circumstances change with time, so should our legal documents. I often tell the story of my parents’ wills, which, at a point well into my adulthood, didn’t even mention my brother. It certainly wasn’t anything malicious on my parents’ part, but updating their will was just one of those things that never quite rose to the top of the “to do” pile as they worked, raised two kids, saved for retirement, maintained a home, took care of their parents, etc. Of course, being the generous, kind, benevolent sister that I am, I would never cut off my brother without a cent but not all families are like that. Even families with the best intentions can do strange things in the face of grief and mourning. By updating your will, you have the sole discretion over how your belongings, assets and estate should be distributed, which can help your family avoid any unnecessary turmoil.

This month, take a moment to dig out your will and see if it needs updating. Our lives change…there are births (kids and grandkids), marriages (first, second, third), divorces (first, second, third), and deaths (in every generation). There are also things we overlook. Perhaps you have a loved one who is in a nursing home on Medicaid or a child with emotional challenges living on assistance. Leaving a bequest in your will could be problematic. Also, did you know that the person you designate to raise your kids doesn’t have to be the person in charge of the money you left for them? Your appointed guardian may be great with kids but lousy with money so why risk your children’s financial future.

While you are at it, how about putting together an outline of your last instructions? Families often have a hard enough time dealing with loss. If you put your wishes on paper it can provide a sense a relief to your loved ones and give them some much needed direction during a difficult time. For example, do you want to be buried or cremated? Scattered or interred? A funeral or a traditional Irish wake complete with single malt?

It’s not fun topic to discuss, but we cannot evade death…whether we’ve talked about it or not. And, putting your wishes to paper doesn’t make it happen any sooner. Your will is a necessity that can save your family time, money and grief. Plus, it gives you the peace of mind knowing that your wishes will be clearly followed. Sometimes it is just about knowing how to get started – any good advisor can put you in touch with an estate attorney and will even walk through the process with you.